


Sexy Dresses & Crashing Spaceships

by Vika



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 07:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9061444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vika/pseuds/Vika
Summary: The Doctor picks up River from her cell to celebrate Christmas with the Ponds. But on their way to Amy and Rory, he and River got off course (again).





	

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas! - Well, kinda. It's already 5 am on the 26th here in Germany, but who cares^^
> 
> I've felt like writing some Doctor Who. I've never written a DW-fanfiction before, probably because I'm a bit scared of writing timey-wimey-stuff. But I thought a cute River/Eleven-Oneshot wouldn't be that bad^^
> 
> Like I said, it's the first time I write Doctor Who, so I've no idea how this turnt out. I hope the characters aren't too ooc.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it :)

River Song sat in her cell and skimmed a bit through her diary, when suddenly she heard the familiar sound of the TARDIS.

River loved this sound and was instantly on her feet. She had not been back in her cell for a few hours, but she was more than ready to leave it again – inside it the time just passed by so unbearably slowly.

Shortly after the TARDIS had appeared, the Doctor opened and stepped out of it. He wore a black suit and a matching topper.

"Merry Christmas!" He shouted with joy.

"Christmas?" River asked confused. "Sweetie, it's October."

The Doctor looked at her for a moment, then murmured, "Two months too early ... so much for surprise."

"You'll have to come back in two months," River said, smiling, even though she was reluctant to see him leave again.

"Yes, yes ...Well, then," He grinned at her. "See you in two months."

Then he went back to the TARDIS, closed the door behind him, and disappeared.

*

"Where is he?" River muttered to herself. It was Christmas Eve, and she had been waiting for the Doctor for some time now. _He probably missed flew wrong again_ , she thought annoyed.

She was already thinking about sending him a message that he should hurry up but then she heard the sound.

"That took you some time," she said as she entered TARDIS. "I've been waiting for hours."

"Oh, great, I landed on the right day," the Doctor replied, while he seemed to be bothering with some of the levers responsible for the various time calculations. "Something is wrong with these," he added.

River sighed. "Show me."

"No," the Doctor said. "My TARDIS, not yours. I can solve this on my own. "

River rolled her eyes. "If you think so. Where are we going?"

"To a wonderful place," the Doctor answered with a smile. " _Maison de la Pond_. Thought we could visit your parents. Don't know how about you, but I haven't seen them for an eternity. Got the feeling they no longer want to travel with me, but a normal Christmas Eve would be rather nice, what do you think? "

River just smiled. It was nice to hear that he already knew who she really was.

"Sounds great," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek, then saying, "I'm going to refresh and change quickly."

Then she disappeared in the direction of the wardrobe.

After an hour or so she came back to the control room. She had pinned up her wild hair and wore a long, strapless black dress, which was cut at the right leg, and red high heels with matching nails and lipstick.

River grinned as she walked toward the Doctor, her grin widened as the doctor turned around and looked speechless for a moment.

"You ... you look good," he said.

"Thank you, I know," River replied. "And I love it when you notice that."

"But I hardly believe that this is a suitable dress for a Christmas dinner with your family," the Doctor continued, and put his attention on the levers again.

River smiled. Then she leaned forward on the console, looked directly at the Doctor and said in a deeper voice: "If you want, I can take it off again."

The Doctor did not look at her, but a slight grin circled his mouth, and River was sure there was a slight blush on his cheeks.

"We have an appointment," the Doctor replied, still without looking at her.

River sighed. "This is a time machine, Sweetie," she said. "No one will notice an hour."

"An hour?" The doctor asked in astonishment.

"Two would be just as fine," River said playfully. She leaned even farther forward, and this time the Doctor looked at her.

He took a short breath, cleared his throat, then said, "They can wait."

Riven grinned and pulled him towards her, so that he could not be distracted by his levers again.

*

"I thought you only wore that dress to seduce me," the Doctor said later in the control room as he pushed some levers, switches and buttons to take them to Amy and Rory.

"Never said that," River said. "I like the dress."

"Me too," the Doctor replied. "But I doubt your parents agree."

"Don't worry, I'm old enough to wear what I want, Sweetie," River said. "The only thing that could disturb them would be your looks."

"My ...?" The doctor asked, then added annoyed, "So you complain that I don't pay enough attention to your appearance, but if I do it, it's wrong?"

River pretended to think about it. "Yeah, exactly," she said, grinning.

"Anyway, we're here," the Doctor said.

Riven went to the door laughing, but her laughter stopped as she opened it.

"Okay, this is definitely not London," she said as the doctor appeared next to her.

They were in a restaurant filled with humans. It was obviously Christmas, but the robots, standing on the sides, dressed as service staff, did not make it look like earth at the beginning of the 21st century. And the view of somewhere in middle of the universe from this huge window did not fit either.

"A cruise," the Doctor said annoyed. " _Shooting Star_. What kind of boring name is that for a ship? At least it's the right day."

River crossed her arms and looked at him defiantly. "The right day?" She asked. "Several thousand years in the future, but sure it's the right day. Wait!" She stopped suddenly. "Did you say _Shooting Star_?"

"Yes why? Stupid name."

" _Shooting Star –_ doesn't this remind you of anything?" The Doctor looked at her confused. "A luxury liner," River continued. "Christmas Eve. Crash. Only fifteen survivors."

"Oh," the Doctor replied. "This is ... unpleasant."

"What time is it?" River asked, looking for a clock. "Thirty minutes left until several meteorites strike into the engine room. Better if we leave."

She made her way back to TARDIS, but suddenly noticed that the doctor did not follow her.

"What is it?" She asked annoyed as she walked towards him.

He wanted to answer her as two of the robots approached them.

"Ah," the Doctor said. "Merry Christmas."

The robots remained frozen for a short moment, then both said at the same time in a mechanical voice: "Non. Authorized. Visitors. "

"Well ...", the Doctor began, but he could not continue, because the two robots grabbed his and River's arms firmly.

"What-" River shouted, trying to break free, but it did not help, because the grip was too tight.

The robots wanted to move, but River continued to resist and stood still. Then, however, she noticed that the Doctor voluntarily went with them, so she gave in as well.

"You know I'll kill you if we die here tonight," she whispered to him.

"You always say that," the Doctor replied.

*

It took way too much time for them to reach the bridge for River's taste. She had tried to ask the robots a few times how late it way but she was ignored.

She sighed a little when they finally arrived at their destination and the clock showed that they still had twenty minutes to live. If they happened to think of something extremely smart they could make it back to TARDIS in time.

"Ah, stowaways," they got greeted by a rather young looking man with a moustache. "Interesting stowaways. I didn't believe it to be possible to penetrate our shields and land on deck. How did you do it?"

The Doctor wanted to say something, but River did not let it happen, fearing it might be the wrong thing. Time was pretty precious right now.

"It was a coincidence," she said calmly, even though her heart was beating rather fast. Again, another minute had passed. "We didn't want to land here."

The man, who apparently was the captain, only laughed. "They always say that," he replied. "You won't get away that easily. We have a beautiful cell for you. And your ship will be thrown overboard. Too heavy. "

"Over – WHAT?" The Doctor shouted.

"Overboard. Right now at this moment," replied the captain. Then he turned to the robots. "Bring them to the luxury cell next door. I want to keep an eye on them."

"You idiot!" River cried as the robots dragged her away again. "This ship will be hit by meteorites in a quarter-hour and crash. A large part of the people, including you, will die!"

The captain just shook his head and laughed.

When they were dragged away, the Doctor looked up at River with raised eyebrows.

"What? It was worth a try," she said. "And this is still your fault."

"Come on," the Doctor replied. "I really could not have seen _that_ coming."

"Oh, this is _always_ happening," River said annoyed.

"And so far we've always managed to get away," the Doctor tried to calm her down. "I'm more concerned about the TARDIS."

River snorted. "Your stupid machine is more important to you than your wife?"

"It's not a stupid machine!"

River shook her head. "Doesn't matter, they won't be able to finish throwing her out anyway. Not that this could help us now,” she added.

On the way to the cell, River tried several times to get the robots to stand, so they could gain time – if they could get lose shortly after the impact, it might not be too late. But unfortunately, it did not work and they were behind bars now.

"Great," said River. "Now we're stuck here."

"How long?" The Doctor asked as uninterested as if he was talking about the weather.

"No idea, I don't have a watch," River replied annoyed. "But it can'tt be long"

Suddenly there was a loud bang and River was torn into the air. Everything went dark and she only felt how she was pushed against the walls again and again. She reached out for her Doctor's hand, but they were always pulled apart. Then it was over.

"All right?" The Doctor asked.

River lay on the floor, her eyes closed, which she opened as she got up. Everything was full of dust, but she could see how the corridor had nearly completely collapsed in front of them. But the bars still stood.

"Seriously?" River asked breathlessly.

"No problem," the Doctor said, pulling his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket.

River looked at him in shock. "You had it all the time?"

"Yes, of course," the Doctor, as he opened their cell.

"And you didn't use it before because ...?", River asked, trying to remain as calm as possible, even though she had the feeling of leaving the Doctor an imprint of her hand on his face.

The Doctor, however, did not answer, but went out of the cell as far as possible.

He looked around briefly, then said, "If we're careful, we'll get over it."

"Where are you -?" River started to ask but then everything was clear to her. "You want to save these people, right? You wanted to do that from the beginning. "

The doctor just shrugged and began to climb over the debris.

"I hate you," River shouted, following him.

"No, you don't," the Doctor shouted back.

*

It took some time until they were back on the bridge. They could already see the planet which they would hit in a few minutes.

"No one here," River pointed out.

"They were probably pulled down," the Doctor replied, pointing to a hole in the ground. Then he turned to the ship's controlboard.

River stood next to him and asked, "Do you know how to fly something like that or do you just hope you're lucky?"

Although the planet was getting closer and closer, any fear had disappeared, since they could not flee anyway.

"A mixture of both," the Doctor replied. Then he looked around and said, "Sit down there." He gestured to a chair on his right.

"Why?" River asked.

He looked at her. "Do you trust me?"

She smiled. "Always."

She sat down and then said, "But don't you dare messing this up."

"I'll give my best."

For the next two minute long dive, River only looked at the Doctor. She trusted him, she really did. Even though he sometimes, or often, drove her mad, he had managed to get them out of every dangerous situation, although he often was the reason they were in these situations in the first place

River had to smile. It could not have been a simple Christmas dinner with the family, something had to go wrong, like usual. But she would never want it otherwise.

In the last few seconds before the impact, the Doctor finally left the control board and ran to her.

They held each other in the arms until the impact was over.

River looked down briefly to see whether everything was still there. In doing so she noticed that her great dress did not look quite as good as half an hour ago. She had to change before the Christmas dinner in any case.

"Well … that was close this time," the Doctor said as he got up and helped her up as well.

They climbed out of the ship together. River was surprised to find out that within a few hundred metres the ship was still quite whole. The rest was completely destroyed.

"At least something," the Doctor said.

Suddenly an excited woman came out of the dust toward them.

"You saved us, didn't you?" She asked. "Oh, thank you so much!"

She wanted to embrace the two of them, but then decided to just shake their hands and say, "Janis Grover. That's my name. So that you know that I owe you my life."

Then she ran back to where she came from to look for other survivors.

"Janis Grover." River shook her head.

"What?" The Doctor asked.

River smiled. "She was one of the fifteen survivors of this cruise." She shook her head again. "Why is it that whenever there are impossible survivors of anything, it turns out that you are behind it?"

The doctor grinned. "Let's look for the TARDIS. She better survived this. And then we visit some Ponds. They shouldn't have to wait any longer."

"No one would ever have to wait for you, if you just land at the right time."

"I already told you something is wrong with the levers."

"Or you just use them the wrong way. Which could have meant our death today."

"Only almost. And I had everything under control. "

"You didn't."

"Why can't you just be grateful?"

"I would be if you didn't permanently risk my life."

*

It was about three months later, when River again heard the sound of the TARDIS. Immediately, she was on her feet and waited for what was happening this time.

The Doctor was wearing this black suit with the topper again.

"Merry Christmas!" He shouted happily.

River sighed. "Sweetie, it's spring."

"Oh," the Doctor replied. "First too early, then too late. Three's the magical number.” He wanted to go back to TARDIS, then he stopped and turned around: "Wait! But I've been here for Christmas, right?"

River smiled. "Oh, yes, you were."

"Oh, that's a good thing at least. Hopefully, I'll land here soon. Something's wrong with my levers," he explained. "And can I look forward to it?" He asked.

"Spoilers," River said.

The Doctor grinned at her and then disappeared.

 


End file.
